Good for you Dudu and skeeter1 !!!!
I'm glad to hear you're doing so "poorly".
om
Open mind
JoinedPosts by Open mind
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11
My JW Mom. Master of spin and denial.
by Open mind ini moved away from the area where i grew up many years ago.
i'm 3rd gen jw and so is my wife, but we're both awakened now.
for the last couple decades, i've periodically received updates from my jw mom on how various people in her part of the world are doing.
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Sept.15th WT - Submit to the WT Society or Jehovah Will Not Know You
by flipper inthis was some of the most blatant , aggressive , controlling information i've seen in awhile in the " witness only " version of the wt.
of course, it's always blatant, but the manner that was used in this article was so authoritative and demanding - it's apparent the wt society is losing members and they are amping up the control tactics to keep members trapped.
the article in discussion is on pg.
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Open mind
LIKE.
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11
My JW Mom. Master of spin and denial.
by Open mind ini moved away from the area where i grew up many years ago.
i'm 3rd gen jw and so is my wife, but we're both awakened now.
for the last couple decades, i've periodically received updates from my jw mom on how various people in her part of the world are doing.
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Open mind
I moved away from the area where I grew up many years ago. I'm 3rd gen JW and so is my wife, but we're both awakened now. For the last couple decades, I've periodically received updates from my JW Mom on how various people in her part of the world are doing. It wasn't until my awakening that I gradually came to see what insidious habit my Mom had adopted. Even when I was a true-believing elder and perfect JW golden child, my Mom would cherry-pick, sanitize and spin-doctor the updates she would give me on people's lives.
Typical updates that she would READILY offer were: "So-and-so just gave their first talk, became a publisher, got baptized, started pioneering, became an MS, Elder, Bethelite or got accepted to Gilead."
Sometimes, she might also tell about some elder's kid who recently got DFed and would be sure to include enough details to let me know that their life was now completely off the rails. The more brushes with the law, drug abuse, etc., the better as far as fulfilling the JW prophecy that anyone who gets DFed has a crappy life.
As I gradually became more aware of her extreme pro-JW filtering and sanitizing process, I decided to make a few mental notes and use them at appropriate times. Here's the broad strokes.
If she brings up some JW old-timers that she's known forever, I make sure to ask how they're doing financially. The VAST majority of the time, they are struggling and usually, at least in part, because of sacrificing themselves to WT doctrine.
If she brings up how the golden-child son of Elder X has been accepted to Bethel, I'll ask about the other kids. She will counter my parry by bringing up whichever one has left "The Truth" and whose life has fallen apart. I'll thrust back by asking about the one I think probably had the best prospects of doing OK financially. Many times they have gotten a higher education, married a non-JW and are doing quite well by most normal people's life barometers.
Here's three specific examples from recent conversations:
1. Faithful Elderly JW couple we've known forever.
OM: So, are they retired now?
Mom: Uh, well they're of retirement age. (First bit of cageyness on her part there.)
OM: Yeah, I thought so. They're in their late 70s now right?
Mom: Yes, that's right.
OM: So are either of them still working secularly?
Mom: Well, yes, Jane still has to do some house cleaning and John was just able to start doing some .........(menial, maintenance job).
*Cliff Notes version: This JW couple are both in their mid-to-late 70s. Pioneered for decades. Both still have to work to make ends meet and he's in great pain due to repeated surgeries. Never planned for retirement. Big A was going to take care of that. But this very real, very painful portion of their life portrait gets left out by my Mom.
2. Extremely disfunctional guy I knew as a kid, now 40-something.
OM: So Mom, How's Joe Sheltered doing?
Mom: Oh, he's doing very well spiritually. (Code for: his life is crap, but he's still giving as much as he can to the Church.)
OM: Is he married now?
Mom: Yes, he married a very spiritual sister from _________.
OM: So, the last time I heard about him, he had to quit his job because of the stress, is he working now?
Mom: Well, I don't think so. I'm pretty sure he's on medication for depression.
OM: Hmmm. That's too bad. I'm sorry to hear that. How about his wife, is she working?
Mom: No. She's permanently disabled, but she's a regular auxiliary pioneer!
Cliff Notes version: This poor guy was home-schooled by a couple of the most uptight, repressed, mega-strict JWs I've ever known. Probably didn't even see a woman's cleavage until he was 30. Very nice guy but hopelessly socially awkward due, in large part IMO, to the church doctrines, paranoid parents and the home-schooling. How's he doing according to Mom? "VERY WELL!" (spiritually)
3. Wayward, inactive 20-something JW woman friend of the family who Mom never mentions unless I drag it out of her.
OM: So, how's Bonnie Black Sheep doing?
Mom: Not so well.
OM: Really? How so?
Mom: Well, she married out of the truth about 2 years ago.
(Background: Bonnie got dunked at 14 and married the first JW guy who looked cute at the ripe old age of 18. The marriage lasted 2 years, after which she left him to his couch, his X-Box 360 and his sexual infidelity.)
OM: Hmmm. Anyone I'd know?
Mom: No. He was in the military when she married him. (Oooh. Hubby #2 is not only worldly, but in the military as well. )
Cliff Notes version: What's Mom conveniently left out so far? Bonnie has pursued her education and is now an RN. Hubby is now out of the military and has a similar really good job in the medical field. They've just had their first son, but my Mom is worried about the baby. Know why? Hubby is also REALLY into playing sports and she's sure that their life will revolve around that and they'll never come back to "The Truth".
Just for emphasis: "How's Bonnie doing?"
Per my hopelessly JW-indoctrinated Mom: "Not so well".
*OM shakes head, hangs up and waits for the next spin-doctored version of peoples lives* -
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Judge dismisses Jehovah's Witness' "wrongful life" lawsuit - Dr. saved live with a blood transfusion
by Elsewhere inno, this is not satire or a joke.
a jw seriously sued a dr. for "wrongful life" after the dr. saved her life with a blood transfusion.. .
http://www.silive.com/news/index.ssf/2011/08/judge_dismisses_wrongful_life.html.
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Open mind
Brevity is the soul of Scully.
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31
Let me introduce myself
by Kensei01 inhello to all on this board.
thanks so much for creating it and fostering the spirit of welcoming and honesty here.
i have been "lurking" here for a while now and should really introduce myself.
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Open mind
Welcome to JWN Kensei!
Does your wife have any doubts about the Organization?
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What Actually Made You Leave The Organization?
by minimus inmany of us needed time to get away from this religion.
i took the course of fading and it's worked pretty well for me.
after i saw sooooo many silly rules being enforced, i needed to get out!.
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Open mind
Giving a Service Meeting talk reinforcing the shunning of long-time DFed family members.
I included how painful it had been for me to not speak to my DFed brother for over 20 years, but that it was in the best interests of everyone to uphold the "arrangement". I received many compliments afterward including one from a middle-aged mom whose 20-something daughter had just been DFed.
As I observed the JW-drone Elder-monster in the mirror at home that evening, I could no longer live with supporting such a ruthless policy.
Called up my DFed brother not too long after that and begged his forgiveness. Best decision I've ever made.
om
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Open mind
Written communication with elders is always riskier than verbal one-on-one with no onlookers.
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For My Christian, Jewish and Atheist Friends, "Why I am No Longer a Christian."
by Robdar inthis is a rather long yet fascinating documentary from a former ku student about his transformation from a true christian believer to an atheist.
if you have the time to watch it, i would love to hear your comments.
http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/why-i-am-no-longer-a-christian/.
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Open mind
Marking for later. Thanks Robdar.
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I'd like to talk to some ex-JW couples
by Mad Sweeney ini know a few of the guys here started to fade and managed to bring their wives and family along on the exit.
i will be sending some of you a pm or fb message some time soon.. are there any ex-dub ladies here who managed to influence your husband to re-examine and eventually quit the borg?.
it is very difficult to get to the genuine personality of an indoctrinated jw but if anyone can do it, a loving spouse can.
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Open mind
Here's what worked in our case.
Definitely not for everyone though.
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What Is Your "Gift"?
by minimus inwe all are gifted with something.. i would say that i am gifted with a great sense of humor and i'm told i'm very discerning and perceptive.. now, if you asked me to hammer a nail, i'd think about getting a screwdriver...... .
what's your gift???.
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Open mind
Internet Explorer 9 resulted in the previous *ghost post*.
Let's see if Firefox 5.0 does any better.
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(Yay! It worked! Sorry for the sidetrack Min.)
OK. My "gift" is vibrating my eyeballs. I had to choose my parents carefully in order to master it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWWKOCheA00
Woo hoo!
om